For my outward appearance, I wore my illusion, that I was over it, that ending the relationship was best for us both. But that facade was just smoke and mirrors and hollow words. Having a broken heart is like having your ribs broke. The outside looks like there is nothing wrong, but every breath I took hurt. Let’s just say, for a long time my ribs were broken.

Now it my shock you to know, that in all other issues of my life I was successful and confident. It is true I had a killer job, made plenty of money, plenty of friends, sharp clothes, a great home, and of course excellent taste in music. But for whatever the reason this person was my kryptonite. And just like Superman I was powerless in there presence. But if you have watched the Superman movies you know he always figures out how to overcome the kryptonite. Thankfully so did I.

Now overcoming kryptonite and getting over a relationship break up can be incredibly tough. But it is also extremely empowering. But the greatest victory is finally having your life back without the constant heartache present.

The cold hard truth about a relationship break up is you are in a sink or swim situation. Some people are trapped in a emotional downward spiral their whole life because they can not not get over a lost lover. Other people most notably you, see it as a turning point to rebuild, reevaluate and sometimes redecorate there lives. As crazy and messed up as things may seem right now, this could be the best worst thing that has ever happened to you. So put down the bucket of southern fried chicken, there not hiding in the bottom of the bucket and please put some clothes on. Greatness comes from adversity.

Step#1 No contact with them for sixty days

This the most important step, you need to detox from this person. I don’t care if they just want to be friends, or they have some of your things or you were fused together in a nuclear accident. Lat’s say you were going to stop smoking, you wouldn’t hang out with smokers, buy cigarettes, or get real drunk and IM cigarettes at 3am, asking them to come over for one last smoke. Don’t accept there IM’s, calls, or visits, No Contact.

Step #2 Remove everything that reminds you of them

Your home is a recovery zone not a torture camber. Box op everything that reminds you of them and get them out of your house. Out of sight out of mind. Now change your surroundings, rearrange the furniture, redecorate, paint a wall. Changing your surroundings will give your mind different external cues, that will provoke differ ant feelings.

“Who do you think you are to give me advice?” you shout, disrupting your family members. “Why should I listen to you or read any further?” Keep it down crazy, crazy pants now everyone is looking at you. Let’s just say I have experienced truly spirit breaking, self esteem crushing, gut wrenchingly painful break ups. One was so horrible they made me want to just lie in bed for the rest of my life. Thank God I didn’t take that choice. Could you imagine the long curling fingernails and bedsores. I just believe it is the significant that my worst experience has led me to what I ultimately consider the best of my life. Nuff said.

Step#3 Find a relationship break up buddy

No that isn’t some therapeutic doll that you yell at and slap around. Just a good friend, that has some knowledge of your relationship, a good listener, and some one close by. I am sure you are strong enough to go it all on your own but Van Gogh did to and he ended up mailing is ear to his ex, so why risk it!

Step#4 Get up and get out

Go somewhere and do something. See a movie, take a walk, volunteer. And don’t take your broken heart with you, put a smile on and do something that you have always wanted to do but didn’t have the time. Well now you have the time go and learn something about the awesome person that you are. Always remember that none of your relationships will ever work until you find “The One” that does. And the difference between that one and all the others will be completely and utterly profound!